Lock Down.

A extract on one mans mind body and soul.

This is part of a real life from a husband, a father, a protector, a rock in the family. But what happens  when that rock needs supporting.?

This is his journey on paper, it will be deep and dark and joyful and sad and happy, its life…. Meet Chris his story probably sounds just like yours.


The struggle with men and mental health is most men will never accept they have a problem, they will always put it to the back of their mind and carry on as if nothing is wrong, smile to everybody, offer to listen to others problems and always show themselves as the strong one, the one that friends can rely on, everybody’s rock.

The above statement applied to me also, starting in 2009 and has taken me 10 years and a lot of pain to finally overcome the darkness that haunts my mind . I lived for my family, worked any job and any hours I could get to support my family until I landed my dream job as a prison officer, I worked hard in training , passed out with distinction and started what I hoped would be the job I retired from. my 3rd daughter was born on the 12/08/2008.


She was then and still is now my little princess, but back then she was very very ill and we didn’t know why, doctors kept telling us it was just constipation and re-flux and to keep an eye on her, even though she couldn’t keep any food down, it was destroying us inside .

It was early 2009 when she was finally rushed to hospital and after many hours we found she had a rare form of liver cancer, as soon as i heard the word cancer, my walls went up and the shadows started to creep in, my mind and feelings went in to LOCK DOWN.

And with it started the downfall and destruction of everything i loved and held dear. Let me make clear from the start, I would not change anything,

I lay blame on my downfall with nobody but myself.