Flat out Lizzard – Countryman's Diary Magazine

Flat Out Like A Lizard Drinking

By The Ole Hedge Creeper

I have entitled this article justly, you see I have been so busy with all my businesses and Pass It On Young Sports, that coupled with going to Germany for the IWA and then jetting off to Texas for a boys holiday of a life time with my old friend Tam, I literally have been Flat Out Like A Lizard Drinking, as I am putting pen to paper as it were, right on the eve of flying off to entertain the crowds at The Three Shires Game Fair, I will reflect on the last couple of months on a whistle stop tour or in brief and will pic up on it all fully with a follow up article.

IWA Germany Nuremberg, my secretary and I flew direct from Bristol landing in Amsterdam then catching a connecting flight to Nuremberg, wow that Amsterdam airport is huge, barely having time to stop for a bathroom break, by that I mean my cable tie was at bursting point, then jumping on our flight, the size of that airport really blew me away it really is massive, I was a little disappointed on our flight from Bristol, there were a large group of lads going over the Amsterdam for a boys trip out, they were very loud and fowl mouthed, I must say how well the staff at KLM dealt with them keeping them calm etc, I will say no wonder other countries don’t like us if that’s the class of British traveller we have, I feel they completely let the side down and made all Bristolians look like complete illiterate morons.

We got to our luxury apartment, WOW the view right over Nuremberg was simply stunning, Burblik our host showed me and Mag’s my secretary about the place, we had 6 bedrooms to choose from for just 2 of us, the apartment was a luxury VIP place normally reserved for very special guests, so I jokingly said well you must of heard of me then expecting Burblik to laugh and say no, to my surprise he said yes you are very famous and why he gave us the penthouse apartment, I asked him jokingly how did you come to the conclusion I was famous, apparently I have a lot of German fans, well bowl me over side ways I know I have a lot of German followers but I never expected that, Burblik was a wonderful host and we have been asked to stay again.

We spent 3 out of 4 days at the IWA, we met up with Air Arms/Jack Pyke/NiteSite and our chums from The British Shooting Show & oh so many more too many to name, the show was awesome as always, I caught up with so many old friends and business colleagues, made some new client and suppliers too.
On the Monday I had other meetings to get too for my Really Wild Adventures Company away from the show, I was actually in Germany on a double edge sword one side was the show the other side Corporate clients that were on my VIP international clients list, all in all a very successful trip all round.

I promised Mag’s some time off and to show her around Nuremberg, one thing my Pappy taught me was to be a man of my word, so true to my word I gave her a guided tour of this ancient city and its castle, we went everywhere and I told her what I knew and discovered a lot I didn’t know, so it was a voyage of discovery for me too as I had been here before, my Pappy always said my boy you could live to be a 101 and still not know enough, as always my Pappy was right, we finished off our last night with a mighty meal and watched the sun set over this wonderful city.
We landed back in Bristol at 5pm and by 6pm we had a kids rifle range set up, I promised the young sports I would not let them down or cancel a range night, as I said true to my word and I will never break my word unless for a very good reason.

A day or so later we found ourselves at The West Of England Game Fair, this is one of my local show and I have supported it since it started well over 20 years ago now and never missed one of them, we had an amazing Saturday show and my main ring demonstration was well attended and supported, with lots of young farmers and young sports joining me in the main show ring making my show hilarious and entertaining, we left the show ring to a huge round of applause laughter and a standing ovation from the crowd, Nobby one of my oldest friends and hunting partners was there with his family and his daughters joined me in my show too, that was a very proud moment for me and her dad she did great, she is also a crack shot with an air rifle too and often comes to our range nights with her old dad, Alas we had heavy snow on the Saturday Night so the show was cancelled on the Sunday, such a shame as Lisa and her team put such an amazing effort in putting on that show every year.

Monday morning was a very sad morning as I went to one of my dads oldest friends funeral, those that have read my books will know of Bucky (Chris) a real life character loved by so many, the proof of that was the standing room only at his funeral and wake, but from sadness came a happier moment as I met up with so many of my old friends and rabbiting muckers from my youth, Nobby and I said there were a lot of old faces there we had not seen in 20 years and he was right, so we all swapped numbers and promised to keep in touch.

I had to leave early from the wake as I had to catch a plane to Scotland to meet up with Tam, as always a warm welcome awaited this honorary Scotsman in my Caledonian (Scotland) home, we all got an early night as we had to catch a plane to Heathrow in the morning so Tam and I could start our Texas adventure.

We met a chap on face book called Chris and his wife Nina who asked if we would like to stay, Tam and Chris had a lot in common as they both ride motorbikes and are in motor bike clubs, me on the other hand hadn’t rode bikes in years so did have as much in common, but a trip to Texas hey I was not going to miss that for the world.

We caught our flight to Texas 10 hours of flying really took its toll on us both so the first day we just sat about the house chilling out and sleeping, but the next day we went to Chris our hosts motorbike garage, wow there were Harley Davidson’s every were, we met a brilliant couple of guys who work for Chris, who’s nick names were Stretch and Bootleg I never knew their real names, turns out they were members of a bike club called The Booze Fighters, they invited Tam and I to their club house, what an amazing place and such nice people who enjoyed a good laugh, I remember one fellow coming in and walking up to say hello to Stretch, Stretch was so funny and quick witted he said a line I will never forget, as the guy reached out his hand to shake hands Stretch says man you look like I need a drink, I nearly fell off my bar stool laughing, Bootleg and I talked about so many things family and kids etc again a really nice bloke they all were, I also kept my fitness regime up by training with full water containers from the water dispenser.

We met the president of the club a chap called Hyde well that was his knick name anyway, such a lovely man soft spoken and articulate, Tam and him got talking about shooting ranges and how Tam always wanted to try shooting pistols and always wanted to shoot an AR15, so we got invited to go to the Temple shooting range a couple of days later.

At the shooting range we met another chap called Coyote, a quick witted self proclaimed Yanky red neck and ex Vietnam Vet, immediately Tam and Coyote locked horns as Tam was as quick witted too, the rest of us just stood there and enjoyed the show as the two bantered off too each other, mere words wont do it justice but lets just say we were in hysterics listening to this pair.

We started shooting and well Tam’s face in the pic with the AR15 says it all, I was asked would I like a go, well of course I would and lets just say I have not lost my touch with pistols shooting a tight grouping out to a very good distance, the AR15 was something and nothing for me as I enjoy precision shooting and would love to have pitched my 223 up against the AR15, but I loved shooting the Colt 1911 in 45 calibre, what pleased me even more was the groupings I got proving what I was taught as a boy is still in there, its only a crying shame we are not allowed pistols here in the UK, for I may have actually of tried to compete for the country as small arms was always my favourite shooting discipline.

Bass Pro Out Door World Round Rock Texas, I have always loved it in that shop, its a countryman’s paradise in there, I wont go into too much detail all I will say is google them and take a virtual tour for yourself, as always I headed to the calls, and when I say calls I mean the largest calling collection a whistler like me has ever seen, there were calls for everything from Crow or Duck right up to Elk or Moose and every critter in between, as always I started trying out the duck calls, my Pappy always told me play a tune and they will come in wings set paddles down, no ducks but the Bass Pro staff one after another, all asking how I made them calls sing like that, I have lost count how many times an impromptu calling lesson has started when I start playing the calls, now not only the staff were queuing up but also young sports and their families, I have a great video I have yet to edit and put on my channel on you tube so keep your eyes peeled for that, we went through so many calls crow duck goose dove deer, you name it I played it and gave a lesson on it, the more we played the bigger the crowd got, Tam said your never so happy when you are entertaining and you lit up when the kids joined in, I cant help it I follow after my Pappy in that way, he loved kids I love kids and love to see them achieve and light up when they do, as I call it now heart tokens for when you see that spark in a kids eyes when they achieve its worth a million heart tokens, I left Bass Pro after two visits to the shop both times teaching calling.

Cabalas, my first time ever in there, we went to the Buda and Waco Stores both in Texas, both stores ever so different but much the same we had an amazing time in there, bought lots of goodies and had a fabulous meal, alas they didn’t do much in the way of calls so not so entertaining for me as Bass Pro although Bass Pro own them now, but still an amazing day out for any Countryman or Huntress.

Texas Rangers, wow we visited their museum and learned so much, Tam and I were like kids in a candy store in there looking at all the history of The Rangers and the amazing film we watched all about them from their humble beginning to one of the top law enforcement agencies in the world, one inscription on a bronze statue really sang out to me, it was like my Pappy was saying it to me as a boy as he said something similar, it said No Man in the wrong can stand up to a fellow who is in the right and keeps on coming, that really hit me in the heart for my Pappy always taught me to stand my ground and stand for what is right even if it means standing alone, and that is something I often do, for nobody likes warrior until the enemy is at the gates, with the lord at my side there is no enemy that can stand against us.

Bass Fishing with Tommy Cochran at lake Belton, Tommy what a sheer Texan gentleman and awesome fishing guide, we met Tommy at 7.15am and boarded his boat, wow man did that thing fly, we jetted out to where the gulls and turns were diving on the bait fish, we started jigging bt this I mean we dropped a waited minnow jig down to the bottom then started bobbing the rod up and down, Tam says a dollar to the first person to land a fish, we both hooked one at the same time and landed the Bass at the same time so we drew there.

It went a bit quiet there so we moved off to different spots several times catching a few bass here and there, then we hit a spot were the water was bubbling over with fish, it reminded me of mackerel fishing with my Dad and uncle Dave on Chessel beach last year, Tam and I cast and hooked a fish on every cast, Tam caught the biggest fish of the day but I caught the most species, so I say that’s a draw but Tam says otherwise.

The next day we flew home to Scotland, Tam’s Daughters took me out for a meal and I met up with their husbands great guys both of them, well matched for what I consider my Scottish daughters, I met up with some dear friends Rena and her husband John and enjoyed a gin and tonic or 3 with them, I also met up with my ole mucker Alk a true Caledonian gentleman, alas I didn’t get to see Tam’s son Billy this time, Billy is like my own son a handful always has been but a real character, I will go back up to my Caledonian (Scotland) Home soon, but for now its midnight and I have to be up at 5am to head to The Three Shires Game Fair at the Malvern Show Ground in a few hours, like I say this was a whistle stop tour, I have missed out so much, so I will catch up on this in another article very soon.

I hope you enjoyed reading about my adventures, until the next time all that’s left to say is, arrrrrrr tiz proper job I telle muckers, the bis ava good un.

Flat Out Like lizard Drinking
By The Ole Hedge Creeper